Fighting FOMO

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.It’s Day Three of the Blog Like A Pro Challenge.

Today for Hump Day, I’m blogging about two things: Writing and the Fear of Missing Out.

Today’s challenge is tough for me because I don’t write to be controversial or take a stand or to provoke debate.

But I do have a lot of things I am passionate about. And I’ve been thinking about so many different things the past few days.

There’s actually quite a few things I fight for.   These days it’s fear and stress, in myself and others.

I’m also dealing with what Brene Brown calls a “vulnerability hangover”, a pretty mean one after the last two days of blogging. (If you’re one of my new blogging friends maybe you relate?)

Before I jump into the Fear Of Missing Out, I want to share something from Day One’s blogging experience.

I broke through my Resistance and wrote a “manifesto” of sorts for the first day’s challenge.
I didn’t think it was awesome but was happy to start writing again after several months and put words out there again.  And I was pleasantly surprised to write more than 500 words.  It was actually kind of easy.

I thought: “I’ll just start writing and keep writing as if I stop writing I’ll never be able to start again.” And I started second guessing what I wrote and how it could be better and there’s so much more to stay.

And it hit me, as I ruminated past my bedtime:

“This is more Fear, more Resistance and Scarcity.  It’s so ingrained in me to motivate myself this way.”

It reminded me of the story of the Israelites in the wilderness receiving manna from heaven daily and trying to hoard it.

My mind stopped racing and I was able to let go with this thought:

“Today’s Word, today’s words are enough. There’s more to say tomorrow.  Today’s words are enough.”


Lately, I’ve been encouraging my overwhelmed patients to fight for permission to be valuable in their own life.  To take care of themselves.  So many of the people, most of them moms, I talk to during the week are so busy, so focused on the needs of others, their responsibilities and roles, that put themselves last on their to-do list.  Some of them aren’t even on their to-list at all.  And their physical and emotional lives suffer.

We are sick.  Our country, our homes are soul sick.

My daughter taught me about FOMO recently, the Fear of Missing Out.  It’s something that affects her off at college.  There’s a constant tension she feels between getting her studies done and participating in fun campus activities. And she’s not the only one.

FOMO can hit young kids when the latest version of Minecraft comes out.
It plays out on our smartphones and tablets and on social media. In our jam packed calendars.  It can even play out in our church activities and attendance; we can get caught up in busyness of going to events and meetings and studies, coffee, prayer meetings and worship services and appointments because we fear missing out on experiencing God in a new and exciting way.

If you’re like me it is a big part of why my nightstand is covered with a dozen unfinished books.

Even in this week’s Blog Like A Pro Challenge, FOMO is rearing it’s head. (Ugh!  I don’t have my “lead magnet” ready.  I’m not going to win the prize!)

It’s interesting how the Fear Of Missing Out drives us to miss out on what’s most important.
Being present
Our kids growing up
Our calling
Intimacy with our spouse
Time with God
Prayer and mindfulness
Contentment and peace

Today’s blog challenge is to pick a fight.

Guys, we’re losing our lives to our screens.

Every other day in coaching or counseling with patients, social media and Facebook come into the conversation and not for a positive reason.

There will be a day when folks that go to counseling will spend a good portion of it talking about how their parents were absent from them because of social media and smartphones .

We may already be there.

Certainly in 10 to 15 years we will have a generation of parents who have spent their entire conscious lives on smartphones and tablets.

The sad thing is kids won’t sit their parents down to have an intervention about their addiction because they’ll just turn to their own tablets and smartphones.

This is the fight I’m picking and encouraging you to fight.
Fight for your soul.
Fight for deep connection with your family.
Fight distraction.
Fight addiction.
Fight comparison and the voices of shame.
Fight to stop fighting and striving and consuming.
Fight to just rest, trust and just be.

Your life.
The simple gifts God gives, are enough.
Because He has made it so.
And said that it is good.


See, when I started thinking about this my first “advice” was to replace the Fear of Missing Out on social media and concerts and going out with the Fear of Missing Out on your kids, on your life.

But this is was just like the first part of this blog, trying to change negative behavior with another negative.

The solution to FOMO is just like “Today’s words are enough”, it’s contentment and gratitude, that the present moments, the present company, our present reality is enough.

PS.  I was home sick today.  Thinking about this blog and came across this TED talk My year of saying yes to everything | Shonda Rhimes.

She is a mom who is winning the fight against FOMO.

It is amazing and I think may be my new favorite TED talk.

I hope it encourages you.






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Licensed professional counselor and health coach in Portland, OR Pre-marital and couples counseling. Individual counseling for anxiety, depression, insomnia, sleep disorders, sexual addiction, porn addiction, career, transitions, grief, burnout, personal growth.

2 thoughts on “Fighting FOMO”

  1. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

    1. Harsh! But thanks for reading and making me laugh with your comment. I hope you at least enjoyed the TED talk. That is great and won’t disappoint.
      If you disagree, well, then I really know you’re just trolling.
      Hopefully, there’s something else on here that might help, if not I won’t waste your time anymore.

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