Let him who hasn’t viewed porn cast the first stone, on porn and shame

I’ve seen this quote a lot in social media and the news lately

“Let him who is without sin cast the first stone”

It’s from John 8, and it’s a story about a woman caught in sexual sin about to be condemned and punished for it by the scribes and Pharisees and Jesus.

The folks quoting this in the news often get the characters mixed up.

But this blog isn’t really about the my reactions to the Duggars or patriarchy or The Village Church or Caitlyn Jenner.

It just reminded me that dealing with porn, child porn, abuse, sexual history, shame is very very difficult.

And sometimes the phrase: “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone” is used as a way to just not talk about it.

Here’s a modern paraphrase “Let him who hasn’t viewed porn cast the first stone”

The scribes and the Pharisees were watching how Jesus would deal with sin, they wanted to trap him.

Modern day Pharisees also are watching how the Church deals with sin.

The problem Jesus dealt with then is the same as it is today.

For the Pharisee, behavior and controlling it is paramount.

There is no empathy for what’s driving the behavior.

For Jesus, the person and the story behind the behavior is most important.

Judgment and shame, especially around porn, isolates.

It disconnects us from God and others.

If you struggle with porn the message for you is the same today as it was then for the woman caught in adultery.

You aren’t damaged goods.

You’re not worthless.

You’re not done, a lost cause, a cast off.

At the same time, it isn’t casting stones to say

You can be free from porn’s grip, you don’t just have to accept it.

Porn hurts others.

Porn hurts you.

Living a lie is unhealthy.

It isn’t what God wants for you.

There is hope.

You can change.

Your story isn’t over.

“Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

He didn’t want her to die and be judged.

He didn’t want her to stay the same.

He wanted her to know that He was there to enable her to be free from her past.

This is the best thing I’ve read about porn and shame lately.

By Aaron Smith, who also recently spoke and wrote about what it’s like living with bipolar disorder.

Published by

Sovann

Licensed professional counselor and health coach in Portland, OR
Pre-marital and couples counseling.
Individual counseling for anxiety, depression, insomnia, sleep disorders, sexual addiction, porn addiction, career, transitions, grief, burnout, personal growth.

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