On beginning counseling

Midway through February and you may still feel stuck, that the year still really hasn’t started for you.  If you’re on the fence about trying counseling to work through what you’re struggling with, I hope this post encourages you.

Reality is hard and exhausting but not telling the truth about it, to yourself and others, makes it harder and more exhausting.
Worrying about being found out, about people seeing you for who you really are and being disappointed is exhausting.
Truth is, that may hurt, to be rejected, to be a disappointment but from what I’ve seen it hurts more to be alone and unloved.
For people to just know and love you for your mask.
It’s like in the movies when someone turns the wrong way and they just miss out on bumping into their soul mate.
So close but so far, and the farness may as well be the world away.

Sometimes when you begin the work of counseling it is like digging a path down into your heart.
And one of its benefits is it opens you up for others to follow you down and meet you there.
(sometimes pain, trauma or grief serve the same purpose, by abruptly tearing into your life)
When a spouse does this work, there can be a real confusing shift in the relationship, a disconnect or lack of emotional intimacy.
Or it can point out an inequity of how much depth there is in the other.
To be fair to them, be patient and don’t lose hope.
They may not have realized that this is what they were committing to at the start.
Maybe you didn’t either.
It’s a skill we can all learn. A journey we can all begin.

Published by

Sovann

Licensed professional counselor and health coach in Portland, OR Pre-marital and couples counseling. Individual counseling for anxiety, depression, insomnia, sleep disorders, sexual addiction, porn addiction, career, transitions, grief, burnout, personal growth.

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