Here’s a Periscope video I did a bit ago when the DVD was released that expands a bit on that post to look at 7 ways Inside Out can help your parenting.
Here’s the 7 points briefly outlined:
1) The movie helps us identify and name our emotions. It helps makes emotions less overwhelming and scary. Being able to identify our emotions helps us to be able to recognize and understand the emotions in others, to have empathy. When we are able to identify our emotions we are better able to communicate what we want and what we need in relationships.
2) The trailer scene. The emotions and noise in our heads make communication challenging. This is hard enough when it’s just you as a couple, adding a child adds another handful of emotions; the more you add the greater the complexity.
3) Change makes us vulnerable to our emotions. As parents, it helps to be especially attentive to your kids, and yourselves, when they go through transitions and change. Even small ones can trigger big emotions.
4) Our emotions affect our memories. Often what we “take away”, what we bring into the present and future, when we go through stuff is not just the facts of the experience, often our emotional experience is the most real and powerful thing. What we focus on, how we frame the experience, what we tell ourselves, the meaning we make are tied together with our emotions. So, as parents we can coach and help our kids cope and reframe their experience. And, our examples of resilience and hopefulness – or despair – when going through hard things can greatly influence how they learn to cope with struggles.
5) The Islands. Riley had islands that formed her identity. These elements affected her self-esteem and her sense of self-worth and she was. As parents, we can help affirm our kids’ talents, abilities, strengths and potential by giving them opportunities to express who they are and grow into themselves. We don’t want them to believe that they are worthwhile and loved because of what they do but we do want to help them develop skills and abilities that give them a sense of self-efficacy, strength and industry.
6) Don’t take your kids’ emotions and outbursts personally. When Riley was struggling, what her parents said and did didn’t always help. It made an already hard transition, even harder. It helps to remember not to withdraw from our kids when they desperately need more support, understanding and patience.
7) The importance of all the emotions. As parents, we may struggle with anger, fear, disgust – with “negative” emotions. Inside Out teaches us that all emotions serve a purpose, they can each help us. They aren’t “bad”, what can be unhealthy and destructive is how we react, what we do and say with them. Emotions can isolate and destroy us or they can help us ask for help and be even more connected than ever before.