Eight Practices To Let Go Of Perfectionism in Parenting: Part 2

Eight Practices to Let go ofPart Two of Eight Practices to Let Go of Perfectionism in Parenting

You can view the first four practices in part One.

These are from a Periscope video I filmed last year. You can watch the video or read the edited transcript below. The transcript includes one practice I forgot to mention in the video.

Practice #5 is Authenticity

The next practice for letting go of perfectionism and performance is to practice authenticity and to practice imperfection. To courageously let others know who you really are warts and all. And doing that with your kids.  I think this is really hard in some families especially if Dad is really busy with work. If he’s just kind of tired and exhausted and distracted and focused on sports and hobbies; if he’s just distant and disconnected.  And so the kids wonder: “What does he really think of me?” It’s sad, that can be such a trap, at home for kids and for families where “Dad pays attention or Dad shows up, when I play soccer or play baseball.” and “Dad gets excited and pays attention to me when I’m doing really well, in sports, but if I’m not, then he’s not really into me.”

Practice #6 is Getting Support and Accountability

Practicing vulnerability is hard. I hear and see this when people talk about Facebook how it’s hard to be vulnerable, it’s hard to tell the truth about where you struggle. And what happens to a lot folks is they struggle on their own, keep it hidden, until it gets unmanageable and then things blow up and it leaks out somewhere.

So, tell others the truth.  Share with safe people. You don’t have to broadcast everything to anyone, but finding folks that you can really disclose who you really are can help you learn to trust that it’s worth it. One of the best things that our family has done this year (we took a break for a while) but we’ve got a small group of friends from church that we get together with once a week  and that’s been great to get support and talk with other parents about where they’re at and where we’re at. To get encouragement and support.

Practice #6 is the practice of having fun as a family. One practice I forgot to include in the video is a suggestion from my son: practicing having  fun and being playful.  Humor and laughing at yourself. If you struggle with perfectionism or anxiety, it can be difficult to loosen up and laugh. My son likes to invent board games and weapons out of cardboard.  My youngest and I like to express playfulness with verbal and physical comedy.  It’s hard to be perfectionistic when you are trying to make someone laugh by making goofy faces!

Humor can be threatening and misused.  As with the other practices, if this is something new or difficult for you, you may need to go slow and get some support for this one.  Our favorite memories as a family are the times we can laugh together, when the kids can tease me.  It reminds me to take a break from all the weighty matters matters in life.  It also helps me not to take myself so seriously and to be too hard on myself.

Practice #7 is Self-Care  clearing your mom or dad if you struggle with perfectionism is to practice self care. For folks that have faith and are believers part of that self-care can be a prayer and worship.  Managing your stress as a mom, as a dad, by simplifying an overwhelmed and busy schedule can really help with with healing up and and getting off this rat race, this treadmill and getting some perspective about what why are we doing, what we’re doing, why are we so busy and tired and overwhelmed.  Practicing self-care and pulling back to evaluate what you’re doing as a family and who are you trying to please and who are you doing it for can help you figure out things.  To figure out what things are unhealthy, things that need to go, things that in your schedule that you need to cut out or have healthy boundaries about and say “no” to.  This will give you the space to pay attention to your heart, to pay attention to your stress level and pay attention to your kids and be aware of how they’re doing.

“Shifting from human doings to human beings” you’ve heard that phrase.  It takes time. It takes time to just enjoy sitting and being and not doing anything. I think stillness, the discipline of stillness and solitude and silence and not being busy is increasingly being lost.  I know we feel that as a family running around, especially right now with Christmas performances, concerts and things like that. But it’s great to just be able to spend some time, an evening, or a bit of time in the morning disconnected from screens, not having to be entertained but just hanging out and talking and going for a walk or just enjoying the deck and the sunshine.

So, that’s what I’m going to go do. I hope that you guys have a great weekend. If you’re a mom or dad that struggles with perfectionism in yourself or with your expectations and perfectionism or controlling behavior and speech with your kids I hope that some of these things might resonate with you.  I encourage you to take action one or two practices. If it seems overwhelming, just get started.  I hope the best for your family. If you have any questions or comments feel free to comment below or tweet me on Twitter and send me a message. I would love to hear if you have any questions or if you have any suggestions for future blogs or videos. 

Eight Practices To Let Go Of Perfectionism in Parenting Part 1

Eight Practices to Let go of

Eight Practices to Let Go of Perfectionism in Parenting

Here’s a recording of a Periscope video I did last year on perfectionism in parenting and an edited transcript below.

Today’s blog will be the first four practices.  The next blog will be on the second half and include an additional practice I forgot to include that my son recommended to me.

Here’s three signs that you might have an issue with perfectionism in parenting I didn’t included in the video:  feeling Stressed out, Shouting a lot and struggling with Shaming your kids or feeling Shamed.  If you feel that way or notice this going on, if you notice decreased joy in your role and work as a parent, if you feel decreased closeness with your kids even if you spend a lot of time with them or if you talk a lot with them but don’t feel connected at a heart-level, I hope watching this video or reading this blog will help you and your family.

Transcript:

This is something I work on with a lot of adults. I see the effects of their parents’ perfectionism, their stress and anxiety, on them. I hesitate to talk about this a little because I don’t want to come across as shaming parents. Because that’s one thing about perfectionism: shame feeds it and it doesn’t help to feel bad. Feeling bad about your parenting doesn’t help, long-term that doesn’t sustain change. Feeling bad about who you are and how you’re doing as Mom or Dad just feeds that vicious cycle.

At the same time, I do want to encourage parents to be aware of how protectionism affects their kids because that’s one of the ways that perfectionism is harmful to kids and families is that it makes parents really self-focused and selfish.

My kids are 19, 16 and 12 (now) – girl, boy, girl – and this topic, this issue of perfectionism and performance-based love and acceptance is something kind of near and dear to my heart because I just want my kids to experience grace and unconditional love. But it’s so tough and we can we can slip and get sucked into focusing on behavior, focusing on how we look outwardly to other people to other families and get caught in comparison and jealousy and things like that.

So, a little bit about my family for some context then we’re going to talk about practical ways to let go of perfectionism. One of the key ways that this is a challenge and difficult – or has been in the past – for our family, is that each of my kids have been involved in musical theater and music and performance so we’ve had lots of talks about “How do you balance working hard, to do your best, to do things with excellence to do quality work and not get sucked into your self-worth and your approval and your sense of yourself being based on what you do?”

I’ve always tried to affirm and notice the kids for who they are regardless of how well they do with auditions or school work, test results in projects to turn in things like that. But it’s tough, I got to admit, I can slip it into that myself and brag and boast about when they do well.  And with social media that’s a challenge that I see and I hear folks talk about a lot in the counseling office about feeling discouraged and anxious, less than, not good enough, because they see how well other people are doing, how well other families are doing, how well-behaved other kids are in the grocery store or at church and they start feeling discouraged and feeling like they’re failing as a parent.  So here are eight practices, I hope will be encouraging to you.

Practice #1: Self-awareness. To replace performance and perfectionism and getting caught in that trap, the first practice is self-awareness and identifying what’s driving any type of perfectionism, procrastination, avoidance or controlling behavior as Mom or Dad.

For me, one of the things is insecurity. Honestly, when my kids are doing well that’s a boost, that makes me feel good. And we want to be proud of our kids but I notice – self-awareness – that I know I’m getting off track and getting unhealthy when how well they’re doing…I’m more concerned about how I feel, how that makes me feel better, than how they feel and how that’s growing them and how that’s helping them gain some self-confidence. And I’m losing track of what their experiences, and what they’re going through, are teaching them about life and character and forming them into the people that I hope that they will be. So self-awareness, practicing self-awareness about where you’re at with this, can be really helpful.

Practice #2 is Patience: the other thing that can help with parenting and communication is being patient with your kids.  You might have heard the phrase “tiger mom”, it’s from a book written by a mom who really drove her kids down in California. (I didn’t read the book, I’ve read some articles and interviews with her.) There can be a culture of pushing kids academically with music, with extracurricular activities, with the kind of the goal of making it in the ultra-competitive college application process and hoping that they stand out.

The desire as parents for our kids to be successful and be able to graduate high school and get a job and take care of themselves – that, that’s legit – but it really helps to get some perspective and to be patient with their growth, and patient with their maturity level. Allow them to be kids. Stretching them but not pushing them to the breaking point and causing lots of stress and anxiety. I talk with a lot of single adults who are still struggling to find their way they don’t have it figured out and their parents really pushed them.

Having your kids just follow your agenda and expectations doesn’t set them up for success because then they don’t have the ability to problem-solve and discern who they really are and what they end up doing, or pursuing, doesn’t end up being a good fit for who they are, the way of doing things, their personality, their strengths, their temperament. That can be really confusing and disillusioning: when you pursue a college degree, a career path, and get the message that “this is going to make you happy and this is going to make you successful” and you’re just miserable.

Practice #3 is practicing Presence.  This is a whole other topic (blog), but just listening well, spending time with your kids to hear how they’re doing with school how they’re doing with relationships, how they’re doing personally is practicing presence. Listening for how they’re feeling and viewing themselves, what their self-image is, what the messages that they’re telling themselves are, can be really helpful.  But that means spending less time on TV. That might mean spending less time on social media or even Periscope. Setting healthy limits so that you can spend time because those conversations come in the middle of spending time, in the middle of the rhythms of the day and rhythm of the week.

Practice #4: Praise and Positivitity. Another practice is praise and positivity.  And that can be with yourself.  Our kids observe and know the things that we really believe based on the things that stress us out and make us fearful and anxious.  They sniff out the hypocrisy in the things we really value. For example, if we are really critical and negative of other people, other families, then they pick up on “That’s not OK.” and “This is what Mom and Dad are expecting and if I don’t want to be criticized if, I don’t want mom or dad to think poorly of me, then I’d better not look like or act like that person.” And if we speak critically or negatively of other families that can be damaging because they likely pick up on where we’re judgmental and that makes them at risk to be perfectionistic and inauthentic with other people.

So work on your issues.  Don’t pass on your negativity.  Don’t pass on your anxiety.

I’ll post the next four practices is part two of this blog.

If you struggle with perfectionism as a parent or with the affects of a parent’s perfectionism, what do you think of these practices so far?

How might you incorporate these practices in your life this month?

On Being Strong and Known To Your Kids

On being Strong for and Known to your kids

What they don’t tell you about being a dad
(whoever “they” are)
is that as your kids become young adults,
young men and women,
you are faced with a choice,
a choice to be this idealized version of “Dad”
or to let them in, to who you are.

Really that choice is always there but it’s especially hard as they get older.
They have more power to be disappointed in you.

But what I’ve learned so far
is you don’t stop being Dad, “superman”, their “hero”, their “knight in shining armor” any more then they stop being your “princess”, your “boy” or your “baby” when they get older.
You just become a different type of hero, you start to play a different role.

They may not look “up” to you in the same way but they can look “in” to you, if you let them.
Instead of the the final word, you become an advisor.
You point them to the truth and let them discover what they need to for themselves, on their own but available.

As Dad or Mom, you still go first, initiate, the more real you are or become, you lead the way and show them how to be real too.
Like the Velveteen Rabbit taught us, to be real is to be loved.

I’m learning how to replace the need to be respected with the connection of being known and trusted by speaking deeper harder truths to my kids,
things that, if I had heard and learned earlier, I wouldn’t have spent so much time trying to figure out on my own.
Things that don’t have to do with what’s on the outside, things of our hearts and who we are.

It’s not that they don’t need my advice but letting them in on the stories and process of how I came to came to that advice – explaining the Why and How I learned the advice I’m sharing, not just telling them What to do – helps them become the whole-hearted and resilient people I hope they’ll become.

As a parent, and especially for dads, the lie is that if you are weak and vulnerable, they will be anxious,
lose their sense of security,
their sense of being protected,
that you always have to be strong for them.
Never let them see you sweat,
never let them see you cry

The truth is, we show them the truth of how real life works
when we are vulnerable and we show them something more than
being strong
and being “OK”.
We teach them about faith.
We teach them about relying on God, on God’s grace and love.
We teach them to rely on others, on community and good friends, not our own strength and performance.
And we teach them to be connected in their humanity and imperfection
by connecting with them in this way.

Vulnerability is risking them thinking less of me
to give me a chance at really connecting with them.

I’m giving up being strong for the kids for being vulnerable with and being brave with them.

 

For the perfect Christian Mom

A poem for the Christian Mom

A early Mother’s Day poem for the mom who’s already planning the perfect Mother’s Day for herself and the family.

Afraid of anger
Ashamed of tears
She’s always smiling
But hasn’t laughed in years

Tons of friends
Always on the phone
Everyone loves her
Yet she feels so alone

Husband won the lottery
Such a great wife
“Proverbs 31” woman
Weary of life

Immaculate house
Everything in place
Driven to perfection
What she needs is grace

Grace from the hiding
Grace to let go
Grace for the fears
Grace to be known

When being great parents disconnects you as a couple

Being a great parent doesn't have to cost you your marriage.Reconnecting when being awesome disconnects you.Day 3 Mental Health Awareness Month, a repost from a FB post for parents: 

In the pursuit of something awesome, like being a great parent, sometimes moms and dads become less than awesome as a spouse.
Just realized this morning, that that is something I am passionate about helping families with.
If you ever find yourself in that space, here’s something I hope will help you talk about it (and maybe skip a session or three of marriage counseling).
Make gentle invitation to a hard conversation with your spouse.
Don’t let feeling neglected, resentful and/or distant build up.
Try saying this, parts of it, or something like it:

I don’t like how this feels right now.
I don’t like where we are right now as a couple.
I miss you.
I don’t want you to feel attacked or blamed but I’m unhappy and I need your help.
I’m sorry for my part in getting us to this place.
I’d like to talk about this.
This is important to me.
I want to be close to you again.
Let’s make a time to talk about it.

Something the Seahawks taught me about parenting

A Throwback Thursday post

You’ve probably seen this video of last year’s Seahawks comeback playoff victory.
If you haven’t seen it, watch it, it’s awesome.
As you watch or re-watch it, note the silences.

When the onside kick leaves the kicker’s foot and takes the big bounce.
When the Wilson hands off to Lynch
When Green Bay lines up for a field goal, three points down
When the ball leaves Wilson’s hands
When the play starts, when you don’t know what’s going to happen next.

There’s a lot of agonizing in the silences.

A lot of parenting is the silences.

You let fly and you hold your breath wondering how it’s going to turn out.
You let go, give them the responsibility of a choice, and hope they end up where they should.
Sometimes the time the ball leaves your hand till the time you see what plays out lasts for years.
The suffering in the silence makes the outcome that much sweeter.
The hugs, the tears, the screams, the euphoria.

I’m writing this because of today’s sunrise
A simple thing
It happens every day
At least somewhere in the world
But it was really special this morning
Because it’s been so dark lately

In more than a few ways

I’ve been talking to lots of patients about death and life lately
But what limits them, what they are afraid of
Talking to clients about what holds them back and their fear of failure
Talking to people who are tired

Wives who are tired of broken promises
Parents who are tired of the same fights with their kids
Moms who are tired of feeling guilty and not good enough

And what I realized this morning driving in, soaking in the clear sunlit sky was that what they are missing
What I am missing
What that football game last weekend gave us a glimpse of
Is the abandonment to joy that comes after suffering for a time.

“The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning.
It’s time to sing Your song again.
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me.
Let me be singing when the evening comes”
– Matt Redman

Seven Ways Pixar’s Inside Out Can Help Your Parenting

 

I’ve blogged some takeways from Pixar’s Inside Out before.

Here’s a Periscope video I did a bit ago when the DVD was released that expands a bit on that post to look at 7 ways Inside Out can help your parenting.

 

Update (11/14/15)

Here’s the 7 points briefly outlined:

1) The movie helps us identify and name our emotions.  It helps makes emotions less overwhelming and scary.  Being able to identify our emotions helps us to be able to recognize and understand the emotions in others, to have empathy.  When we are able to identify our emotions we are better able to communicate what we want and what we need in relationships.

2) The trailer scene.  The emotions and noise in our heads make communication challenging.  This is hard enough when it’s just you as a couple, adding a child adds another handful of emotions; the more you add the greater the complexity.

3) Change makes us vulnerable to our emotions.  As parents, it helps to be especially attentive to your kids, and yourselves, when they go through transitions and change.  Even small ones can trigger big emotions.

4) Our emotions affect our memories.  Often what we “take away”, what we bring into the present and future, when we go through stuff is not just the facts of the experience, often our emotional experience is the most real and powerful thing.  What we focus on, how we frame the experience, what we tell ourselves, the meaning we make are tied together with our emotions.  So, as parents we can coach and help our kids cope and reframe their experience.  And, our examples of resilience and hopefulness – or despair – when going through hard things can greatly influence how they learn to cope with struggles.

5) The Islands.  Riley had islands that formed her identity. These elements affected her self-esteem and her sense of self-worth and she was.  As parents, we can help affirm our kids’ talents, abilities, strengths and potential by giving them opportunities to express who they are and grow into themselves.  We don’t want them to believe that they are worthwhile and loved because of what they do but we do want to help them develop skills and abilities that give them a sense of self-efficacy, strength and industry.

6) Don’t take your kids’ emotions and outbursts personally.  When Riley was struggling, what her parents said and did didn’t always help.  It made an already hard transition, even harder.  It helps to remember not to withdraw from our kids when they desperately need more support, understanding and patience.

7)  The importance of all the emotions.  As parents, we may struggle with anger, fear, disgust – with “negative” emotions.  Inside Out teaches us that all emotions serve a purpose, they can each help us.  They aren’t “bad”, what can be unhealthy and destructive is how we react, what we do and say with them.  Emotions can isolate and destroy us or they can help us ask for help and be even more connected than ever before.

How stress affects your parenting

 One of the best things that can really help with healthy parenting and effective parenting is dealing with your stress.

Because it doesn’t matter what parenting books or DVDs you watch – what parenting podcast or blog you listen to or read- if you’re swimming in stress,  you’re not going to be as effective as you could be because stress will impair you.

These different ways stress can affect you as a parent often overlap and connect and because they’re overlapping and connected stress can easily snowball and overwhelm you. When you add the kids acting out in reaction to your stress – that becomes a gnarly vicious cycle.

1) Stress disconnects you from your best self.  Stress is useful, it creates energy to do what you need to do. Too much, for too long, takes a toll; the rest of this list details how.

2) Stress is distracting and prevents you from being focused and present. You aren’t as attentive. And that can lead to mistakes, inefficiency, frustration, tasks taking longer than you wanted, forgetfulness or even neglect.

3) Stress is draining and exhausting.  It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy when you’re in it so you can’t bring that energy that you need to your kids.

4) Stress makes you vulnerable to resentment and bitterness. Because it’s draining on and that makes everything harder you can start to feel trapped.  When you’re under stress you can be vulnerable sacrificing even more than is healthy for the good of your kids.  In the effort to be a great mom or dad in the short term, things can backfire and fall apart in the long run with undealt-with stress. 

5) Stress makes you reactive and feel out of control.  Stress speeds up your thinking, too much and it can also distort your thinking.  Stress is the triggered fight-or-flight response, it makes you reactive and vulnerable to over-reacting with your kids.

6) Stress makes you vulnerable to inconsistently enforcing boundaries, limits and consequences.  It’s tough to stick to your guns and stay consistent with discipline and consequences. Stress breaks down your resolve and patience. It makes short cuts tempting.

7) Stress can make you feel guilty in a few ways.  Besides feeling guilty for the previous reactions to stress, under stress you may not be experiencing the joy of parenting and as a mom (or dad) you’re “supposed to” have joy as a mom. And what kind of a mom would you be to not enjoy your children?  Now, I don’t believe that and you probably don’t either sitting on the computer or reading on your phone, you can see that cognitive distortion clearly.  But in the middle of a bad day, a nightmare trip to the grocery store or in the middle of another sleepless night that type of thinking seems very real and true.

8) Stress triggers and perpetuates anxiety and depression if you are vulnerable to it or have it.

9) Stress can also trigger self-medicating with addictions or acting out.

10) Stress can affect your sleep and and make you sleep deprived (or even more sleep deprived). And the stress and problems of sleep deprivation are a whole other burden to deal with. I’ll certainly blogging more about sleep later.

11) Stress can make you question your faith. In yourself and in God.  In yourself because it makes you uncertain and unsteady, it shakes your confidence, makes you feel incompetence, feel like quitting or running away.  It can shake your faith because it can make you feel alone and isolated, disconnected and abandoned.

These are some ways that stress makes parenting harder. I’m guessing there are others you might add or are going through. When you are under stress which of the ways above does stress affect your parenting?

Despite all that, I hope this will encourage you to see that often the “problem” isn’t you, or isn’t the kids, often the “problem” is stress. I hope thinking through this list helps untangle the complexity of the different consequences of stress. And inspires you to do what you need to do to address it and take care of yourself.

Remember, sometimes taking care of yourself is not really doing more or adding one more to-do to your already overfull plate; taking care of yourself may mean just giving yourself permission to ask for help, accept help, to let people see your need and let people in to help.

I’ll be posting ways of managing your stress in the future.

In the meantime, a few more questions: what’s causing your stress right now?

Is it low, medium or high?

Getting worse, staying the same or getting better?

What’s one thing you could start doing – something you’re in control of, something you can concretely do differently –  that would help with your stress?

 

To my daughters on dating

image

Dear lovely daughters of mine, 

It’s not easy for me to think about dating when it comes to you. Maybe a lot of it has to do with my work. Mostly, it’s because I love you so much, want to protect you and what’s best for you. As you grow and have relationships with dudes you’ll have to make your own decisions but here are a few things to watch for when you think about dating and relationships.

Look for a young man, not a boy 
so that you can grow as a young woman and not stay a child. 

And in this young man look for one who 

follows Christ first 
so you are encouraged to do the same without restraint and you’re not put in the place in his life/heart you aren’t meant to be. 

who looks people in the eye and has a firm handshake 
so your parents (ie. your father) doesn’t think he’s sketchy.
(Well, honestly your father still may think he’s sketchy after all that anyways. But that’ll be my problem to get over, not yours or his.) 

Is kind 
so you are valued and treated well 
so that your worth is never in doubt.

is responsible 
so you can trust and respect him.

is able to apologize and laugh at himself 
so you can too and continue to let go of perfectionism and control.

is courageous and mature enough to exhort and encourage you 
so you don’t hold all the accountability and responsibility of truth speaking and end up being another parent to him but have a mutually edifying relationship.

is gracious 
so you can make mistakes and be yourself around him.

is pursuing purity and protects yours 
so you can be protected from 
being defiled or shamed in this area.

lives with purpose and knows who he is or lives with a sense of discovery and desires growth so you are free to pursue yours and expressing who you are doesn’t intimidate him or make him feel insecure.

shows an interest in your family 
so you don’t feel isolated or your loyalty doesn’t feel divided and your parents (father) can trust/like him.

is free from addiction 
so you don’t get sucked into its destructiveness.

is generous, not selfish 
so you sense he loves and cares for you, not just himself.

This list isn’t meant to be burdensome or some impossible standard. 
Relationships are hard enough. 
I hope it’s actually freeing in that it helps you to find someone who can pull his weight and share the burden as well as the joy and peace of a healthy relationship. There might be many boys who find this list unrealistic but I am still optimistic that there are young men who might rise the challenge of it, who aspire to be men of character and not shy away from it.
I believe it might benefit them too in their desire to be the man God wants them to be.
Thank you for listening to my heart for you. Remember to trust and seek God and wise counsel to pursue God’s best for you. Please always feel free, as awkward as it might be, to come and talk with me about relationships and what is going on in you.
Love,
Daddy 

The B word

It’s that time of year when the B word starts rearing its head,
Bored
 
The kids know that the B word is not allowed, nothing will make their parents breathe fire and go insane like the B word.

If you are fighting boredom
Clean your room.
If you’ve done that, clean the house.
If you’ve done that, clean somebody else’s house.

Find work
If you can’t find work, volunteer.
Find something new to learn.
Or a good book to read.

Find your purpose, mission, passion.
If you’ve found that, do what you do better and do it with others.
If you haven’t, find a mentor or try something new.
(If you can’t find something new to try, clean your room again)
If you can’t find a mentor, find someone to mentor.
If you can’t find someone to mentor, find someone to serve.

Find God.
If you’ve done that, pursue Him, go deeper.
If you’ve done that, tell someone else how they can too.
Create something.
If you’ve done that, share it, give it away.
If it’s not awesome, find a way to make it better.

Pray.
If you’ve done that and are still bored, listen better. 
Ask God, what does He want you to do. 
I don’t know what that is, but I am pretty sure He doesn’t want you to be bored. 

(If you can do one or two of those things and still say you’re bored come over to my house and I will throat punch you. Just kidding. Kind of.)

If you can honestly say you’ve done all that and you are still bored, then help someone else do those things.
If you can do all that and still are bored, maybe you aren’t bored, maybe you’re burnt out. 

I hope if you’ve read this that you realize life with God and others is too awesome to be bored.

Don’t be bored.
Be awesome.
Be responsible.
Be generous.
Have a great summer.